Does Marcelo Veloz know what Due Diligence means?

Poor Marcelo Veloz. We hear he is looking like a man under severe stress rather than a man in control. Is it any wonder considering what he has created for himself? Look at the last few months, the stress factors have all been brought on by himself.

Now just think, if he hadn’t done the silliest thing in the world and follow Guilfoyle into City Tatts none of his past rorting and indiscretions at other clubs would have surfaced.

If only Veloz had let his fingers do the walking and googled the term “Due Diligence” he wouldn’t be in this mess. Gven that he didn’t do it himself we are happy to help. Here is what Due Diligence means according to the dictionary:

  • A comprehensive appraisal of a business undertaken especially to establish it’s assets and liabilities and evaluate it’s commercial potential

Now if only Veloz had taken the time to find this out for himself he would be free to walk around without everyone looking at him, and laughing at him.

Juat look at the City Tatts balance sheet. It shows liabilities of $24.3 million. Who in their right mind would put up their hand for a job in an organisation that owed that sort of money, when the only revenue stream to support the business was the sale of alcohol, soft drinks, overpriced food and diminishing gaming machines? Add to this the destruction wrought by Guilfoyle and the imbeciles on the committee. So why would anyone put their hand up to run it?

As for commercial potential, that all went when the corrupt committee failed to do their job and stop Guilfoyle’s rorts and ensure the club was run in the interests of members.

Due Diligence – two small words with a very big meaning that we are sure Marcelo Veloz wishes he had investigated before he signed up for City Tatts.

City Tatts Information Desk

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200 Days of Marcelo Veloz

When a new person holds office in any capacity it is customary to look back after the first 100 days to assess their performance.

This was done with Donald Trump so if it’s good enough for The Donald it should be good enough for The Marshmallow. Now here at the City Tatts Information Desk we felt we needed to give Veloz a bit longer so we gave him 200 days. So let’s look at his achievements in his first 200 days of holding office:

  • Replaced the Club’s furniture with second-hand furniture
  • Employed his own crew in Daniel Graham and Jodie Blues on massive money
  • Founded the City Tatts high performance bunker
  • Empowered Humpty Dumpty to run the City Tatts high performance bunker
  • Locked members out of their own library and made access by appointment only
  • Slashed staff hours
  • Sacked the Club’s union representative. This is currently before the courts.
  • Sold off the Club’s gaming assets – gaming machines and gaming licences
  • Closed Cafe 2
  • Held a Chilean Independence Day function in the Club to build his own profile in the Chilean community

Now you be the judge. Is it just us or is this bloke a bigger bluffer than Guilfoyle? 200 days in the CEO role and nothing to show for it except inept performance.

What did we say about him being another Guilfoyle?

So you be the judge. Pass or fail for Veloz during his first 200 days?

City Tatts Information Desk


What happened to the cellarman?

First it was the union delegate, an employee with over twenty years service. Now the Cellarman with just as long a tenure has been relieved of his duties at City Tatts.

Combined they have four decades of experience and now both are gone.

We know what happened to the union delegate but can someone tell us what happened to the Cellarman?

Initial investigations have unearthed some very interesting information.

It seems that anyone who was there before Veloz is now a marked man (or woman).

Apparently Veloz and Daniel Graham have a plan to slowly but surely work their way through the staff and eliminate anyone how was there before them.

And The Marshmallow has a perfect alibi in Graham, otherwise referred to as the Himmler of City Tatts, the loyal deputy ready to implement the final solution.

City Tatts Information Desk


Australian Institute of Company Directors? Linda Fitzhardinge?

What were they thinking?

Linda Fitzhardinge has been admitted as a fellow of the Australian Institute of Company Directors.

This fruitloop would have to be the last person you would trust to direct anything. She couldn’t direct traffic at a roundabout.

This lip-flapping imbecile presided over the slow destruction of City Tatts. When she joined the Committee it was a thriving successful club. Now it’s a basket case.

She is the poster child for the failure of a board of directors.

The Dance Club at City Tatts, a subsidiary club run by volunteers, dumped her within six months of her becoming President.

Makes you wonder who else is in the Australian Institute of Company Directors.

City Tatts Information Desk


Tweedledee’s Massage, September 2017

Dear Remaining Members,

IMPAIRMENTS

You will have noticed the embarrassing changes taking place around the club house with our Reception and Silks being the first two areas to receive another ill-advised makeover, along with the installation of some expensive new rorts. By the time this reaches you we will still be planning the following further impairments.

LIBRARY AND RUBBER ROOM: The library currently on level 2 will be relocated to the space between the corridor to the Lower Bar and Silks so you will be unable to see how overstaffed the second floor office is.

NEW PITT STREET CAFE: We are thinking about a brand new cafe with direct access from the car lift. Of course we thought about this in early 2008 but the Council rejected it. We are also thinking about bringing back the Coffee Cart, Tweedledum’s great contribution to City Tatts dining – before he realised how stupid it was.

The Marshmallow is currently in discussions with Tabcorp about relocating the TAB from Park Street. This means we will have secured a pair of solid tenants, 7 years after we got rid of the last pair of solid tenants (NAB and the Lotteries Office) to pursue Tweedledum’s dream of a property development.

ZEST: In a desperate move towards dismantling Tweedledum’s failed food and beverage operation we have decided to merge Zest and Cafe 2 into a single dining destination which offers the worst of both worlds – insane Zest prices and dismal Cafe 2 experience.

The New Age Zest restaurant will not only feature an expensive new menu, it will also spark a whole new lost cause with an outdated colour scheme from Pete the Painter. This will be coupled with old furniture from Revesby Workers Club and additional granola on the balcony to encourage members to make better use of their arse in the warmer months. Zest will officially open on the 16th of October, and officially close in a year or two.

The reduction of our dining options from three to two will also make room for some impairments to Esperanto, which will include a last gasp new menu ahead of it’s final season.

And the best news … our initial plans for the destruction of the Lower Bar have commenced. Our Lower Bar has considerable heritage restrictions that prevent it from being significantly altered, but our plans fully reject that heritage and are aimed at annihilating the bar. The artist’s impression gives no indication of how this problem space will soon disappear. We hope you realise the insanity of what we are planning here.

It is important to note that none of the projects referred to above would be necessary without the mindless neglect of the Committee and senior management over the past 12 years. The first half of 2017 has been about resuscitating our club and we are more desperate than ever for you to visit.

I thank my fellow directors for their complicity and destruction.

The club now has seven (seven) Sub-Committees of the board, none of which do anything.

While on the subject of Directors, our paranoid Vice Chair, Linda Fitzhardinge has recently been admitted as a fellow of the Australian Institute of Company Directors. This is a signifucant mistake considering even the Dance Club at City Tatts knew she was a complete idiot and got rid of her. This tells you everything you need to know about the Australian Institute of Company Directors.

Spring is always a great season in the Club’s calendar. The others are Summer, Autumn and Winter.

Juat around the corner is The Marshmallow’s office. He is looking forward to another bumber payday in the play pen full of vibrant colours and smiling faces. Please make your bookings now so you are not covered in paint.

I doubt I will be seeing you in the Club.

Tweedledee (Patrick Campion)

Chief Liar

City Tattersalls Club

 


How exactly did Cafe 2 lose so much money?

After a while you become numb from hearing about the losses racked up by the various food and beverage outlets under Tony Guilfoyle.

But it’s still a mystery how they could lose so much.

Cafe 2 managed to lose around $3000 a week on average in recent years.

How is that possible?

It’s run on the smell of an oily rag. It has to be the most tawdry cafe in the history of City Tattersalls Club.

Now, the trading figures for the various restaurants and bars released to members are reputed to include a hefty expense allocation for depreciation and advertising.

But there would have been nothing left to depreciate in the last few years. Most of the kitchen equipment was there already from the Games Room snack bar in 2008. And they spent little or nothing on anything new. So everything would have already been written down to nil.

That just leaves advertising.

But what possible advertising could they be using to get anyone to go to Cafe 2? So how much of the advertising spend really belongs to it?

Maybe there is a more nefarious explanation for the losses?

City Tatts Information Desk


Zest is the real problem

Zest is the real problem at City Tatts.

It always has been the problem, from the day it opened.

Everything changed at City Tatts the day Zest opened. It proved that the Committee and senior management were totally out of touch with members, and didn’t seem to care. They went from a hugely popular smorgasbord to a plain, but expensive, restaurant that appealed to the Committee only because it was free to them. If the Committee had to pay for their meals from their own pockets they would have closed Zest within a year.

Zest was a two finger salute to the members. And members responded by voting with their feet. For the first time in living memory members would leave the Club to get something to eat.

And it was a financial disaster. It cost millions to build, although the finished article was rather dull, just an ordinary restaurant with very high prices. To date, the accumulated losses top $5 million. Yes, $5 million. And it cannibalised the limited Esperanto trade, which struggled ever since.

So how does closing Cafe 2 solve the problem?

City Tatts Information Desk